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..Alan: I mean it's not like I'm cheating on her. I told her the only f-word here is fantasy, right?Carrie: Did someone say the f-word? I wanna fuck!Alan: She says she is embarrassed to tell her friends I write sex stories for the net. She says I'm just an Internet pornographer. I told her someone has to write Internet pornography. I mean, it's not going to write itself, right?Pete: Here, here!Alan: She says me being on this sex fantasy site can only lead to no good. She says pretty soon I'll be hanging out with a bunch of perverts.(There is a murmur in the crowd.)Pete: Uh, we don't like that word here.Bob: No, Sheepy-Poo does not like that word. Would you like to touch Sheepy-Poo?Charles: Uh, Bob. Not everyone shares your fantasy about gang banging your inflatable sheep. Please.Bob: But Sheepy-Poo would like that.Alan: Dude, uh what is with you and Sheepy-Poo? I mean it's a fuckin' inflatable sheep for Christ sakes!Carrie: Did someone say fuck? I wanna fuck!Charles: OK, look, calm. ’ ‘I didn’t say next week for God’s sake.’ ‘Sorry. With everything else going on that scared the crap out of me coming out of nowhere.’ ‘Sorry.’ She dragged it out and didn’t look the least bit sorry. I was sure she got a kick out of hitting a nerve and I expected to be needled about this frequently in the future. ‘I would like you to join me for as much of this week’s folderol as you can. I need an ally.’ She beamed. ‘Sign me up.’ Sunny was home and joined us. I was confused and unsettled. She was likely the perfect person to talk with. ‘I’m starting to have second thoughts about the wedding,’ I said. Both their faces took on expressions of shock and horror. ‘No, not that. I’m having no second thoughts about the marriage, just the wedding.’ Their relief was almost comical. Then Sunny got a suspicious look in her eyes. ‘No. I didn’t do that on purpose. I think I can give you a good idea pretty quickly. The guest list has reached eleven hundred seventy-three and that’s with my Mom.
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